Chester at 5:30 am on his 3 month birthday!

The Chester Diaries: Celebrating the feast and famine known as new motherhood.

Welcome to my blog! My name is Lara and I gave birth in April, 2010 to a baby boy. I've been calling him "Chester" since he was a little chestnut in my tummy. To commemorate his three month birthday, I wanted to write about the crazy, joyous and exhausting ride I've been having as a first-time mom. If you're interested in reading about the highs and lows of uncharted mommy territory as well as my unhealthy obsession with shopping, (particularly baby gear), reviews, and pop culture observations, then you've come to the right place. Be warned: This cute kid has a mommy who can be a bit of a potty mouth.

Note: This blog is no longer active but please enjoy Chester's journey from 3 months to 2+ years.

Thursday, September 30

5 months!

 Happy birthday to my little boy who turns 5 months old today!  These were all taken this morning!

Tuesday, September 28

The next Sean Penn?

Tim hates taking pictures.  That's why you never see any photos of me!  Kinda ironic since all you see is pictures of him, right?  To be clear, he hates taking them but he especially hates posing for them. Like father like son it seems...

Shades of Russell Brand, rockstar rite?

Monday, September 27

The Man of a Thousand faces.

Here's just a couple.  Lawllll...
"You tawkin' to me??"
"I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."
Maybe I shouldn't have had that 12th Jager shot.
Ok seriously.  Enough with the picture taking already!

Sunday, September 26

CNN: The Chester News Network

A few weeks ago I posted a video of Chester laughing like a baby donkey when I was wiping his neck.  I actually entered him in a contest here but most of my relatives are either computer illiterate or super paranoid about registering and entering their information, so I guess we're not going to be winning the grand prize for this.  Anyway, I've discovered new heights to his ticklishness this week.  He's becoming an extremely happy, giggly kid.
It's to the point I'm able to make him laugh on command!  The secret is making funny noises into his neck which sets him into hysterics.

One big change this week came in the form of Chester's eating habits.  Usually he does about 25 to 30 minutes per boob.  This week it was anywhere from 10 to 25.  It still took almost 2 hours to achieve such dismal results.  Very frustrating.  Such a drop has me concerned.  He just didn't seem as interested.  He also seems very aware of his surroundings.  Perhaps the two just go hand in hand.

On a funny note, Chester is all tongue lately.  
They call me Doctor Love
Look at the size of that thing!  Sheesh.  He seems to have adopted a Gene Simmons philosophy for everything.  It seems to always be out there.  He's either brandishing it like a "thumbs up!" or sucking on it like he's got a lifesaver in his mouth.

Saturday, September 25

Nail salon open for business!

Canada Newswire:  The first mani/pedi salon exclusively for babies opened today.  The first nail salon for babies opened to much pomp and circumstance offering free Wi-Fi, HD On-Demand movies and an all you can eat dairy bar.

Said Chester, their first ever customer of his pedicure, "I dunno where they found this guy but I want my money back!"

Friday, September 24

The reason why the internet was in an uproar...

Facebook was down for a spell yesterday.  Here's the reason it was broken:

In other breaking news:  Worker productivity soars. N. America climbs out of recession.


Thursday, September 23

My fave Chester pic ever!

I am still waiting on pins and needles for the photos taken last month of Chester by the fabulous Lee Weston!  Leanna posted in her blog about our shoot and you can see more pics from the day here.  In the meantime, I thought I'd share my absolute favourite shot of the session.  This is one of the many blankets I knit while I was pregnant.  (I believe this is the last one I knit.)  The photo was inspired by the cover of this knitting book which the pattern came from.  I looked at this book almost every day when I was pregnant and it made my whole body smile.  That little baby's shining face is so happy!  I wondered if my little boy would be anywhere as happy, not to mention cute.  What do you think?

Tuesday, September 21

Caught in the Act!

It felt like snapping a picture of a unicorn.  The much elusive thumb sucking I keep claiming to have seen.  But here it is!

Doh.  One second later.  The index finger.  Fickle fingered kid.

Sunday, September 19

Week in review

Not many milestones to report this week.  Chester seems to have mastered the vice grip and seems to be getting more violent with The Swipe every day.  He almost got sucking his thumb down but still prefers the thumb/index finger combo.  Tim took him for a walk to the grocery store yesterday and he said our kid was checking out EVERYTHING.  Just sucking up the environment.  It's turning cold here so I made sure that Tim dressed him up warm.  I'm digging his Fall ensemble.  Camo FTW!

As we head into Fall, I'm getting nervous because I was given an ETA this week of when I'm starting back at work, which will be mid-October.  This freaks me out as I'm not sure how I can swing this with my current full-time job!  I looked into daycare but most places don't take infants, and the ones that do have waiting lists that are insane!  We're talking at least a year to 18 months.  Um.  If you have an infant, how would you be on a waiting list for a year and a half???  You'd have to register before they were born, or even pregnant for that matter!  Who the hell plans like that?  Crazy!  I'm not so sure that even if I got into a daycare that I could handle it.  Would Chester be safe, would the environment be clean?  Ugh.  The thought of putting him in the care of strangers makes my heart hurt.

The good thing is my work is being very accommodating.  They are trying to give me a longer window to do each episode so I've figured out that I can do this if I work all weekend as well as about 3 hours each day, Monday through Friday.  The hard part is trying to figure out where those 3 hours will come from.  Tim usually gets home around 6:30.  Chester goes to bed around 10-10:30.  He has an hour feeding in that window.  I have to eat.  That leaves no time for anything else but working.  How the hell can I manage THAT?  The other problem is, where exactly will I work?  I can't work in my office when he goes to bed.  Where will I screen tapes? All these problems need to be addressed in the next few weeks.  I have a feeling that this might be simply too much.  And not just for me.  Tim is going to have to start getting up early on weekends to help out.  No more luxurious sleep-ins.  (Did I mention I never get to sleep in?)  If only Tim had boobs!  hehe!  He'll have to be up bright and early with me (and actually have to stay up) to take care of Chester while I do an 8 to 10 hour shift both days.  No more playing video games to 5:30 in the morning (which he did last night) and waking up between noon and 2.  Unless of course, we win the lottery in the next few weeks. Time to start paying that idiot tax!

Saturday, September 18

Twitter shame...

So!  My experience with Twitter has actually turned out to be a pleasant surprise.  I thought it would be just a distilled form of Facebook's status updates, which is pretty much the thing I detest most about the joint.  Most of FB's updates consist of many forms of idiocy that I particularly can't stand.

1) Shameless self promotion:  Did I add you as a friend so that you could give me updates on what guests will be on your show tomorrow that I should TUNE IN to watch?  Do I care that you're on a plane to meet Mark Cuban?  Not one little bit.

2) Eye-rolling braggadocio for the sole intent of inducing jealousy:  How lovely that you attended Gwen Stefani's NY Fashion Week party last night.  "THE party of NY Fashion Week."  But seriously, who gives a shit?  She sucks anyway. (Sorry - she  may have blown up since my encounters with her in the past, but I stand by my statement.)

3) Mindless insipid drivel:  "Eatin' blueberries!"  That one caused a friend removal. 

4) Navel-gazing, nobody-gives-a-shit, let's vomit out our inner monologue to make everyone uncomfortable "Stay tuned for the increasingly poor decisions of (insert person's own name)" and thus trigger an outpouring of sympathetic comments.

5)  Insipid shout-outs that piggyback off invitations to events I already RSVP'ed NO to.  For the love of Christ, I don't want to attend your fucking DANCE DANCE DANCE party - I've got a newborn for fuck's sakes. Stop counting down the hours to your lame event.  (Ok, he's almost 5 months, the word "newborn" goes better with the term "for fuck's sakes", no?)

6) Telling me what you just ate for dinner.  This goes hand in hand with #3 but also is meant to inspire feelings of #2.  Again, don't care.  I'm fine with my Big Mac n' fries.  You're just jealous you'd get fat eating 5 of these a week.  Should I make that MY status update? 

For the record, I like reading updates that are pithy, uproarious, and off-the-cuff.  (I don't really post many though.  I'm not that uproarious these days.)  Interestingly enough, that's pretty much all I've found so far on Twitter.  It IS like Facebook, but the very best of it.  The type that creates true LOL's. I hope he doesn't mind, but I have to share the picture and caption that broke my Twitter haha hoo-ha:

Not sure how long pics last on that site so I'll repost it here. (Please Nathan, don't sue me.  No one reads this blog anyway but my boyfriend (when I ask him to) and very seldom, my mother - the pics take too long to load though and she's still getting over her dial-up modem phobia).
The caption reads: In my hotel room: Yeah, right. I'll be using this for birds.
posted by @NathanFillion from Twitter for iPhone 19 hours 23 mins ago

Now, keeping in mind that I have no clue how to use Twitter, I impulsively replied to the tweet:

@NathanFillion TY for making me honestly LOL with this pic. My first on twitter. I recant my prev. biases agnst it. GL w/ season 3!

Is this an ok thing to do?  Or is it equivalent to being a mouth-breathing starry-eyed celebstalker?  Then I realize that this photo has been viewed over 15,000 times with over 10 pages of comments!  Blech!  It's official.  I have become a slack-jawed stargazer.  YAY for me!  Considering my background in entertainment, and the fact that I've interviewed many a celeb without ever succumbing to such buffoonery, I'm completely mortified but there's no takebacks.  Sure I guess I could erase my tweet but I'll wear this blushing badge to commemorate my inauguration into the Twatterverse - a horrible nickname.  But apt today, especially after my gushing turn of events.

Does it really even matter considering no one follows me on Twitter?  And no one reads my blog?
Oh.  Wait. Tim.  I would never leave you for Nathan Fillion.

Oh well.  Considering this IS a blog about my child, I guess it would be false advertising for you to come here expecting your Chester fix and have to read this unrelated, completely self-indulgent (kettle!) diatribe, I guess I'll include a couple pics taken yesterday. Wouldn't want to lose my fanbase or anything.
Poor purple elly covered in drool.
Cage Match!

Friday, September 17


Mommynoob is all grown up. 
Oh my.  What is happening to me?  Today I joined Twitter!  I caved when I found out that Jana, the founder of my favourite company in the whole wide world, BABYSTEALS, was posting about her adventures in Canada.  She's embarked on a secret mission to deliver customer's orders in person!  How amazing is that?  Anyway, now that I went back on my promise never to join Twitter, I figured I'd go whole hog and take the next step.

Yep, that's right.  I finally threw caution to the wind and shared this link on Twitter to what has been up 'til now, a SECRET blog which only Tim, my mom and my friend Barb (who explained how to blog) knew about.  It's not like anyone's going to be flooding in here or anything since no one is following me, and no one knows I'm there (only lurking!) but still - I did unlock the gate. I guess it's high time, considering I've been posting for almost TWO months!  :)  Just remember - these posts are done quickly and in the short period of time Chester gives me to write them - which is usually about 5 minutes!  Forgive the typos and general stream-of-consciousness postings.  This is a guerilla style, get-it-down-fast-no-time-for-editing-because-my-baby-is-about-to-start-crying approach.

Hope you enjoy my little adventures!  If you like, feel free to follow me since there's obviously no one doing it yet.  =)


Thursday, September 16

Mornings around the Champion household

Yawn.  Another early morning.  I woke up at 6:25 today.  Not sure why as the rest of the house was  sleeping like angels.  Much as I tried, I couldn't go back to bed.  I have the feeling that turning on the baby monitor to steal a peek at Chester wakes him up.  He was thrashing around when I had a look at him around 7:30.  Then he was fully awake soon after, which means the whole house is up.  Depending on time and the little monster`s mood, I try to make myself a smoothie and set up, while Tim changes him.  If I need a little extra time, the boys will retire to the bed and play for awhile until I get my "nursing station" set up.  Today though...they looked so cute, I just had to cuddle and steal a couple pics!

Now here's where the story takes a sharp turn into unseemly territory.  See that little lilac bear I'm holding?  His name is Bear Bear and I've had him for over 15 years.  I'm not ashamed to say I sleep with a teddy bear!  As a tummy sleeper, he's kept my boobs from becoming pancake flat over the years with his devoted support!  And even though Tim came into my life more than five years ago, he's never uttered a word about having to share me with him.  I wish I could say the same about the way Bear Bear feels about Tim.  Time to fess up the hard truth:  My bear is abusive.  Since 2006, Tim has had to suffer countless indignities inflicted by said bear. I can't tell you how many untold, early mornings there have been, where a stealthy furry paw has crept out to tickle an unknowing orifice.  Be it a nose or an ear, that's over 1750 indignities suffered by my man (a saint) who, being extremely ticklish, thrashes wildly and starts up from the bed with a grunt, yelp or a howl.  Unfazed by such histrionic demonstrations, Bear Bear finds Tim's reactions ridiculously amusing, which only serve to fuel his demonic enjoyment all the more.  Besides his penchant for The Tickle, Bear Bear is also a master of The Swipe.  With aim more precise than the most expert of archers, a violent swipe of his paw swishes by Tim's nose by micro-millimeters.  It's the air created from the swipe that wakes Tim up, but it's not actually hitting.  (And no chance of becoming a toilet brush as Tim likes to threaten.)

Sizing up his daddy's half-decade-long bully.

But here's where things get weird.  Ever since my baby was a month old, I've noticed he's put The Swipe into practice in his limited repertoire of go-to moves.  In fact, The Swipe is nearly identical!   So on this rainy, dark, too-early morning when I crept into bed for a cuddle, I noticed he was showing an unnatural interest in Bear Bear for the first time.  Is karma in the name of Chester going to be the end of days for my devoted little bear?
Bear Bear's famous swipey paw turned into a teething ring.  Oh the horror.

Wednesday, September 15

Uh oh...thumbs up!

Well I knew the day would come, and he certainly hasn't begun  making a habit of it or anything but Chester has begun sucking on his thumb!
Nothing fancy just plain ole fingers up til this point...

You'd think after greedily gumming his fingers for all these months that perhaps he'd get a clue a little quicker.  Nope.  It happened yesterday afternoon when I was breastfeeding him.  Being the martyr that he is, I took him off my first boob after a measly thirty minutes and was in the middle of switching him over for his next half hour  marathon, only to have him immediately suck on his fingers as if to say, "Ohmigod I'm so hungry why don't you ever FEED me dammit!"  But this time he stuck his thumb in his mouth!  This was followed quickly by the addition of an index finger, so he still hasn't QUITE gotten it yet but he's close.  He really hasn't enjoyed pacifiers since he's found his fingers.  In fact, give him a pacifier and he'll spit it out like a watermelon seed.  P-TOOIEE!  See for yourself...

Monday, September 13

Sunday, September 12

Where did the week go?

Look at those cheeks
Oh my.  No postings for a whole week!  Losing interest?  Nope!  Real life!  The Toronto Film Fest is officially on which means Tim is working harder than ever.  He had to work on Saturday - a 14 hour day!  Left before 10 am and was home at almost midnight.  It was the first time he wasn't here to put Chester to bed with me.  So sad.  =(  It didn't help that he was very difficult all day.  Crying, fussing - wanted to eat constantly but when I fed him, he wouldn't stay on.  My boobs were throbbing.  I was hot, sweaty, tired and hungry.  Not anything to really write home about right?

One of the most amazing things that happened this week piggybacked on something that happened a week or two ago.  You remember me mentioning that Chester noticed his toes?  Well, the next step?  He just wasn't content to gaze upon those beautiful little piggly wigglies.  He had to jam them in his mouth!  It happened on Monday, and as I ran to grab the camera Tim said, "You take a picture and I'll KILL you."  WHAAA????  No camera??  Why not?  Tim's reply?  "Because you're missing out on the actual moment."  Hmmm.  I don't agree with that.  Why can't I experience the moment while recording it?  Anyway, no picture of the magic moment, so no individual posting.  That's not to say I wouldn't include it in my weekly entry, along with the closest thing I could get to a picture.  Despite threat of imminent death.  Hmphf.
Just missed the big moment by seconds...darn

Here's some pics I took today of him doing it again today.  This time his feet were covered but that didn't matter to him.  He knew what delicious loveliness lay beneath that fabric and he went for it all the same!

Hmmm...tastes like chicken, smells like fish
Note the toe now immersed in slobber.

Tuesday, September 7

Chester's 4 month checkup

Knocked out after his doctor's visit.

Going to visit Chester's pediatrician has been stressful the last couple of visits.  He's had to receive needles both times and it just kills me to watch him suffer.  Last time he took the first needle like a champ.  He cried for a minute then he stopped like a true trooper.  It was the next needle that did him in.  Worse still, he just looked at me as if to say, "Why are you hurting me mom?"  Ugh.  I told Tim it was his turn to hold his hand while the doctor gave him his needles.  I couldn't even watch.  I busied myself with the Tempra drops.  I think Chester knew it was coming this time as he was pretty well behaved until it was time to put him on the examining table.  Then he howled like a banshee.  Yeesh.  And the needle taking was even worse this time around.

Before the howling began, the doctor examined him and said he's a very  healthy baby.  He commended me again on the job I've done breastfeeding him.  One thing he did mention was that Chester is as big as a six month old.  He weighs 15 lb. 14 ounces!  He said we could start introducing food to him but I think I'd rather wait until he's 6 months.  I dunno, I just feel guilty putting pablum in his tummy so soon.  Sure he may be "big" enough, but he's still only 4 months old.  Love my little guy so SO much!

Sunday, September 5

Mini roundup

Note the cute Paul Frank socks.  He actually wriggled out of one in less than 60 seconds.

This has been a helluva week for us.  I'm not sure if Chester is teething or having a growth spurt but he was incredibly fussy all week.  He was inconsolable on a few occasions - but the new thing he did which really freaked me out was not being able to be soothed by a boob.  He actually would cry hysterically after a minute of being put on.  I'm not sure what that means.  If he is teething, if I'm not producing milk.  We have a doctor appointment on Tuesday so hopefully we can get to the bottom of it then.

As for developments, Chester is definitely finding his voice.  He talks pretty much all the time.  Not that we have any idea what he's saying.  I believe he thinks that's OUR problem.

Thursday, September 2

It's official! Bumbo time.

Chester has started holding his head up like a big boy now.  He's actually held it up since his first week of life, however, once you get a Bumbo chair, it really makes it official!
One thing that the Bumbo did was make him aware of his toes.  Forget about all the finger chomping he's been doing for the last month.  Soon enough, the toes will be next up on the menu.  Oh boy!

He gave a great debut performance in his purple throne tonight.  And as any great performer in the business of show will tell ya, you gotta razzle dazzle them with a great finish.  Did he bring the house down?